Years ago a friend of mine invited me to spend 10 days in California to attend a tantric seminar with the famous Margot Anand.  Margot has been termed as the “Queen Mother” of Tantra and has dedicated her life to educating the western world in sacred sexuality.  I was a little apprehensive since my only knowledge of Tantra had to do with wild sex and multiple orgasms.  While sex and orgasms are great, I still wasn’t sure I wanted to spend 10 days discussing it in a classroom environment.
After careful consideration and some educational reading, I found that Tantra had more to do with spirit than sex.  There were meditations and rituals, and the movement of sexual energy. Next thing you know, I’m traveling down the California coast on my way to learning about sexual enlightenment.
 When we arrived at the resort, I noted the small print beneath the welcome sign “clothing optional area”. Oh my God! I’d never even considered nudity as being a part of our seminar much less having to stay at a nudist resort.  My heart began to flutter and I wondered if there was a quick flight I could catch back to Dallas.  My friend was quite amused at all my panic and apprehension.  He advised me that it was clothing optional so I did not have to bear it all in front of anyone unless I felt comfortable and relaxed.  My concerns about discussing sex and orgasms had fallen away due to my worry about everyone possibly seeing me naked.  I wondered what the others would think of the Ralph Lauren Turtleneck I’d bought just for the seminar.
 Up the mountain and through the woods we drove to the meeting area.  I saw people getting out of their cars and they had clothes on so I felt a little safer.  A woman greeted us at the door and bowed. Inside the room was dimly lit with candles, incense burning and soft music playing.  It was warm and comfortable which eased my apprehension. We sat down in a circle (everyone was dressed). I breathed a sigh of relieve and thought maybe just maybe it was going to be a good week after all.  Margot walked in after a brief introduction and explained that learning to connect with heart energy would give us the ability to open sexually and live in an orgasmic state.
Each morning we were expected to perform sadhanas (rituals) that consisted of movement, chanting, breathing and dance.  I questioned whether this would really teach me unconditional love and what that had to do with having a great orgasm?  The only thing I felt from my heart was it’s pounding after an hour of non-stop dancing.  I was thrilled when we were instructed to sit on the floor facing our partner.  Breathing heavily, I felt a bit light headed and tingly.
 “Goddesses, please look your Shiva in the eyes.” Instructed Margo.  My mind was wondering why they called us ladies a Goddess and who the heck is Shiva anyway?  But I followed my partner’s lead and looked deep into his eyes.  We began to breathe simultaneously in through the nose and out through the mouth.  I felt his breath against my face.  It was warm and sweet.  Having been to these seminars before he must have known to take a breath mint before hand.  Why didn’t he warn me about that?   We sat there for the longest time just looking into each other’s eyes and breathing.  I felt uncomfortable having him look so deeply into me.  As I focused on the breathing my feelings were replaced with comfort, love and warmth.
We were then told to put our hands in prayer position to breathe out and point our hands toward the ground.  It was a method to honor the earth and to make a sacred space for the two of us.  As I bowed down to the earth in this sitting position, my forehead touched my partners.  Still gazing into each other’s eyes we sat back up as we breathed in.  Our hands still in prayer position now at our heart centers, we breathed out. Again we bowed but this time to each other as we breathed in.  Finally we were instructed to sit straight and exhale.
From this simple first part of the sadhna (ritual) I did feel a deeper more intimate connection with my partner.  It was as if we’d reconnected and touched one another more deeper and subtly.
 Next, Margot instructed us to tell our Shiva things that we appreciate about them.  I finally realized that the term Shiva was used for the male and Shakti or Goddess for the female.  Margot suggested we appreciate things like kindness, truthfulness, intelligence, etc.  Then the Shiva’s were to honor their Goddesses (Shakti).
 Next, we were asked to remove any negative thoughts or feelings we might be having.  Through vocalizing and moving of our hands like throwing trash away, the purpose was to clear a channel for unity.  It was amazing how each time I vocalized and removed a negative thought; I could feel a lifting in my spirit and body. My partner listened with an openness I’d never seen in him before.  We spent the next hour lightly touching each other, breathing together and enjoying being in a place of oneness.  There was a sense of peace and quietness in our space where the heart resides and the rest of the world stops.
 The heart salutation, gives couples a chance to reconnect and unify together.  In this busy world we often neglect those we are supposed to be closest to.  Try the heart salutation before making love and you’ll find it opens the pathway to a deeper level of pleasure.  A level of pleasure beyond the physical.